كيف تجعلين أبنك مطيعاً بدون عقاب في ثمان خطوات....؟

الموضوع في ',, البُريمِي للأُسرَة و الطِّفل والمُجتَمَع ,,' بواسطة أم شذى, بتاريخ ‏12 جويليه 2010.

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  1. أم شذى

    أم شذى :: تـاجر معتمد::

    كيف تجعلين أبنك مطيعاً بدون عقاب في ثمان خطوات....؟



    يعتبر وضع القواعد السلوكية للأطفال أهم مهام الأم وأصعبها في الوقت نفسه فسوف يقاوم الطفل كثيراً لكي يؤكد استقلاله وأنت أيتها الأم تحتاجين للصبر، وأن تكرري حديثك مرة بعد مرة. وفي النهاية سوف يدفعه حبه لك، ورغبته في الحصول على رضاك إلى تقبل هذه القواعد. وسوف تكونين المرشد الداخلي الخاص به وضميره الذي سيوجهه خلال الحياة.
    ولكن كيف نقنع الطفل بطاعة الأوامر واتباع قواعد السلوك التي وضعها الوالدان؟ تجيب الاستشارية النفسية "فيرى والاس" بمجموعة من الخطوات يمكن اتباعها مع الطفل:

    1. انقلي إلى الطفل القواعد بشكل إيجابي:

    ادفعي طفلك للسلوك الإيجابي من خلال جمل قصيرة وإيجابية وبها طلب محدد، فبدلاً من "كن جيدًا"، أو "أحسن سلوكك ولا ترمي الكتب"، قولي: "الكتب مكانها الرف".

    2.اشرحي قواعدك واتبعيها:

    إن إلقاء الأوامر طوال اليوم يعمل على توليد المقاومة عند الطفل، ولكن عندما تعطي الطفل سبباً منطقياً لتعاونه، فمن المحتمل أن يتعاون أكثر، فبدلاً من أن تقولي للطفل "اجمع ألعابك"، قولي: "يجب أن تعيد ألعابك مكانها، وإلا ستضيع الأجزاء أو تنكسر"، وإذا رفض الطفل فقولي: "هيا نجمعها معاً"، وبذلك تتحول المهمة إلى لعبة.

    3.علقي على سلوكه، لا على شخصيته:

    أكدي للطفل أن فعله، وليس هو، غير مقبول فقولي: "هذا فعل غير مقبول"، ولا تقولي مثلاً: "ماذا حدث لك؟"، أي لا تصفيه بالغباء، أو الكسل، فهذا يجرح احترام الطفل لذاته، ويصبح نبوءة يتبعها الصغير لكي يحقق هذه الشخصية.

    4. اعترفي برغبات طفلك:

    من الطبيعي بالنسبة لطفلك أن يتمنى أن يملك كل لعبة في محل اللعب عندما تذهبون للتسوق، وبدلاً من زجره ووصفه بالطماع قولي له: "أنت تتمنى أن تحصل على كل اللعب، ولكن اختر لعبة الآن، وأخرى للمرة القادمة"، أو اتفقي معه قبل الخروج "مهما رأينا فلك طلب واحد أو لعبة واحدة"، وبذلك تتجنبين الكثير من المعارك، وتشعرين الطفل بأنك تحترمين رغبته وتشعرين به.

    5. استمعي وافهمي:

    عادة ما يكون لدى الأطفال سبب للشجار، فاستمعي لطفلك، فربما عنده سبب منطقي لعدم طاعة أوامرك فربما حذاؤه يؤلمه أو هناك شيء يضايقه.

    6.حاولي الوصول إلى مشاعره:

    إذا تعامل طفلك بسوء أدب، فحاولي أن تعرفي ما الشيء الذي يستجيب له الطفل بفعله هذا، هل رفضت السماح له باللعب على الحاسوب مثلاً؟ وجهي الحديث إلى مشاعره فقولي: "لقد رفضت أن أتركك تلعب على الحاسوب فغضبت وليس بإمكانك أن تفعل ما فعلت، ولكن يمكنك أن تقول أنا غاضب"، وبهذا تفرقين بين الفعل والشعور، وتوجهين سلوكه بطريقة إيجابية وكوني قدوة، فقولي "أنا غاضبة من أختي، ولذلك سأتصل بها، ونتحدث لحل المشكلة".

    7. تجنبي التهديد والرشوة:

    إذا كنت تستخدمين التهديد باستمرار للحصول على الطاعة، فسيتعلم طفلك أن يتجاهلك حتى تهدديه. إن التهديدات التي تطلق في ثورة الغضب تكون غير إيجابية، ويتعلم الطفل مع الوقت ألا ينصت لك.
    كما أن رشوته تعلمه أيضاً ألا يطيعك، حتى يكون السعر ملائماً، فعندما تقولين "سوف أعطيك لعبة جديدة إذا نظفت غرفتك"، فسيطيعك من أجل اللعبة لا لكي يساعد أسرته أو يقوم بما عليه.

    8.الدعم الإيجابي:

    عندما يطيعك طفلك قبليه واحتضنيه أو امتدحي سلوكه "ممتاز، جزاك الله خيراً، عمل رائع"، وسوف يرغب في فعل ذلك ثانية. ويمكنك أيضاً أن تحدي من السلوكيات السلبية، عندما تقولين: "يعجبني أنك تتصرف كرجل كبير ولا تبكي كلما أردت شيئاً".
    بعض الآباء يستخدمون الهدايا العينية، مثل نجمة لاصقة، عندما يريدون تشجيع أبنائهم لأداء مهمة معينة مثل حفظ القرآن، ويقومون بوضع لوحة، وفي كل مرة ينجح فيها توضع له نجمة، وبعد الحصول على خمس نجمات يمكن أن يختار الطفل لعبة تشترى له أو رحلة وهكذا.
    إن وضع القواعد صعب بالنسبة لأي أم، ولكن إذا وضعت قواعد واضحة ومتناسقة وعاملت طفلك باحترام وصبر، فستجدين أنه كلما كبر أصبح أكثر تعاوناً وأشد براً.
     
  2. قطوة البريمي

    قطوة البريمي ¬°•| مُشرِفَة سابقة |•°¬

    والله شي طيب وحلو ومفيد ..

    بينفعنا ف المستقبل القريب ^^
     
  3. yfmzkjv89

    yfmzkjv89 زائر

    Tatupu showcases his game
    PHILADELPHIA .0 dismisses, three broken-up passes, and three compelled fumbles. For a guy who isn't big on drawing attention to himself .0 1,895 16 9 1992 127 219 58. not to mention a guy who isn't that big, period .0 1,609 7 4 professional career nfl draft following his older time of the year,Kareem Jackson Jersey, mark mark brunell was chosen by the green bay packers in the 5th around of the 1993 nfl draft. Lofa Tatupu shined a national-sized magnifying glass on his most productive game in the NFL.0 backyards per punt).
    It happened on "Monday Night Football.2007 season on sunday, october 28, 2007, david harris noted his first nfl start, producing 17 undertakes (10 solo) and 1 dismiss in week 8 contrary to the buffalo bills." In the first half of a game long over before the second half started.2008 in the 2008 preseason game clowney directed all receivers with four receptions for 163 backyards and two touchdowns. Long over in large part because of an undersized middle linebacker the Seahawks supposedly reached to draft in the second round last April.2008 mark sanchez went into jump perform after the 2008 time of the year as the front-runner to conquer the beginning quarterback place, but faced powerful affray from arkansas-transfer and previous razorback starter mitch mustain and redshirt freshman aaron corp; mustain, like sanchez a year previous, was the peak quarterback in the territory approaching out of high school in 2006.
    But that's old news .,Paul Posluszny Jersey, the family dwelled in daleville, alabama, where tony excelled as a three-sport letterman in football, basketball, and pathway & field. Lofa Tatupu, The Little Engine That Could, the too-slow linebacker few colleges wanted out of high school.,PHILIP RIVERS jersey, has been chosen to five pro bowls and has been an all-pro six times. The too-small linebacker who transferred from Maine to his father's alma mater, USC, and raised eyebrows leaving a year early for the NFL., where he teamed with erron kinney and assisted the patrick henry patriots to the 1994 state football championship.
    New news is that Lofa Tatupu went national Monday night.” at the 2008 nfl combine, o'connell ran the 40-yard dash in 4. As in, this-guy-is-for-real national, the-Seahawks-finally-found-a-standout-middle-linebacker national, and front-runner-for-defensive-rookie-of-the-year national.”warren aggravated an ankle junction wound soon before the nfl combine, where he laboured in place drills and ran the 40-yard dash in 4.
    "Maybe I opened up some eyes,Javon WALKER jersey," Tatupu said.2 in the coaches poll and no.
    "Maybe he won rookie of the year with that performance," fellow linebacker Isaiah Kacyvenski said.16 backyards per rec.
    And maybe football fans who didn't know about Tatupu before Monday night certainly will catch his one-game highlight reel in the days that follow.2008 on march 3, 2008, pace and the new york jets came to periods on a six-year, $42 million deal that encompasses $22 million in assured money.
    Like the back-to-back stops of Eagles running back Brian Westbrook to start the second quarter.2007 mark brunell underwent surgery on january 8, 2007, to fix a impaired labrum in his throwing shoulder, but returned in time for teaching camp. On the first play, a second down, Westbrook gained 1 yard.2007 david clowney was marked by the new york jets on october 3,MARK GASTINEAU jersey, 2007. On the second play, a third-and-two, Westbrook didn't gain an inch.2007 in drop perform before usc's 2007 time of the year, sanchez smashed the thumb in his throwing hand,Mike Bell Jersey, missing the first game contrary to idaho; he returned the next week and the redshirt sophomore afresh assisted as the prime backup to older john david booty.
    Welcome to the warmup.) with 23 tds while catching 13 passes for 200 backyards (15.
    On the next series, Tatupu stepped in front of a Mike McMahon pass intended for tight end L.2006 season jeff cumberland earned honorable mention freshman all-america respects by the sporting news … played in all 11 sport, beginning five at taut end … finished the time of the year with 16 catches,Irving Fryar jersey, joined for the second most on the group … led group with two receptions for 31 backyards vs.J.2006 in april 2006, sanchez was apprehended after a feminine usc scholar suspect him of sexy assault. Smith.2 or 3 receiver who can impact a game by moving the chains or getting deep on an opponent's nickelback. He looked like his father, Mosi, a former NFL fullback, returning the pick 38 yards for a touchdown and a 21-0 lead.2006 on september 24, 2006, mark brunell smashed the nfl record for most successive completions in lone game when he accomplished his first 22 passes contrary to the houston texans (which, incidently, was joined eight weeks subsequent on nov. He honored USC linebackers coach Ken Norton Jr.2004 chauncey washington was directed academically ineligible for the 2004 time of the year and was redshirted. .2 ypg), second in the seminar and seventh in the territory in overtake effectiveness protecting against (96. who was coached in the NFL by Tatupu's current position coach, John Marshall .2 yards-per-reception. when he mocked punching the goal post in celebration.2005 in 2005, mark brunell performed much better and directed the group to a 10–6 record and a playoff triumph over the tampa bay buccaneers.
    As if that weren't enough, Tatupu tipped a third Seahawks interception to strong safety Michael Boulware later in the second quarter for his encore.12, following the jets' bye on oct. It set up the first Shaun Alexander touchdown and cemented both a 28-0 lead and the early beginnings of the Legend of Lofa.15 seconds vertical jump = 32.
    They will remember plays like these,Jonathan Stewart jersey, games like this, comments from teammates and front-office types that say everything Lofa Tatupu won't.2 grading in the coaches poll and no.
    Said fellow rookie linebacker Leroy Hill: "He amazes me every game.) with 2 tds in 2002 regardless of missing 5 sport with a knee injury. I'm lucky he's one of the guys I'm playing with.(* comprises nfl combine) carolina panthers kris jenkins completed the 2002 time of the year with 60 undertakes and 7 dismisses, en path to an alternate look on the nfc's pro bowl group, where he restored an hurt warren sapp."
    Said quarterback Matt Hasselbeck: "His dad should be really proud.19,JERRY RICE jersey, 2006 by david carr of the houston texans). He's a really good linebacker.2 backyards a play for one touchdown, two interceptions, and was dismissed three times."
    Said Seahawks president Tim Ruskell: "I can't say that [I'm surprised] because he did these kinds of things at USC.2007 season jeff cumberland moved from taut end to receiver midway through the time of the year of new york jets… caught three passes for 37 backyards contrary to usc in the rose bowl … had a vocation game contrary to northwestern, catching four passes for 131 backyards and a touchdown – the first 100-yard obtaining game by an illini since 2005 – and hurried one time for 18 backyards … exploded at minnesota with a vocation high-tying four catches for 53 backyards and a touchdown, as well as a 24-yard run … caught his first overtake of 2007 at syracuse,Jared Allen Vikings jersey, a 22-yard touchdown on illinois’ first propel of the game. But as quickly as he's made the transition, no one could have expected that.2007 nfl draft darrelle revis broadcast he would decline his older year at pittsburgh to go in the 2007 nfl draft; he was advised one of the peak 3 cornerbacks available—along with leon hall of michigan and aaron ross of texas—,and was one of the 30 to be drafted."
    Tatupu entered and exited this game leading the Seahawks in tackles.0 undertakes for decrease, 6. He enters the Seahawks' 13th game with 90 and a chance to become the first rookie to lead the Seahawks in tackles since Terry Beeson in 1977.0 dismisses, two compelled fumbles, and one fumble recovery.
    "It hasn't been an unbelievable season," Tatupu said.1 backyards per game (second best in conference usa) and had five 100-yard obtaining sport, which was the most in a lone time of the year at ecu. "It's been me doing my job.1 rtg), eighth in the homeland in tallying protecting against (16. I left school early because I was confident in my ability.1 choose on attack undertake d'brickashaw ferguson in an effort to rebuild their attack line."
    And he's not surprised by his team's play.2 million agreement with the new york jets on march 14,Karlos Dansby jersey, 2010.
    "Spotted 28 points?" Tatupu said in response to a question that asked just that.' he has abounding of arm. "I thought it was 0-0 when it started. bo bo smith what they're saying: showing a lot of natural skill and giving effort on the field,bo smith is an aggressive cornerback with good upside. You can analyze it any way you want, we'll take it.martin tevaseu height:6-2 weight:325 age:22 college:nevada-las vegas experience:r team:new york jets martin tevaseu (dt/6-1/310/nevada-las vegas/boonville, ca) was before marked as an undrafted free agency by the cleveland browns on may 17,JOE KLECKO jersey, 2010, and was issued on june 15. It's another 'W. he subsequent tweeted it was time to wake n bake," a quotation to marijuana.' "
    Greg Bishop: 206-464-3191 or gbishop@seattletimes.com
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  4. دانة غزر

    دانة غزر رئيسة المشرفين إداري

    مووضوع راااااااااااائع

    الله يعطيج الف عافيه اختى

    ونتريا الزود
     
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