I feel like I am lost. In a tunnel with no end to its confusion and bewilderment, my sole is getting astray bit by bit. Shutting close those overwhelming feelings never proved any benefit. With computer beside me, I have it as my only colleague in life. Family, friends, people, and all things that I like in life may abandon me one day, now or later, so I will give them up before my heart broken. Never I’ve been so good in the presence of others, always wrapping myself with invisible barrier, having doubts even to the close of the closest person. Decisive person and timid at the same time. But whose fault was it? But it’s no one’s fault. It’s only our thoughts and perception of things that lead us the way in life. How do I react towards certain things is depend on how do I perceive those things. If I like someone. all what I can imagine about him or her is wrapped and a flourish aura otherwise, I will see them nothing below but a trash. I have to be honest with myself, I have to protect myself. My concerns for others are not mistakes but I am afraid of the day when I will get myself alone. Do I think if I run away, they will get chased behind me? One thing I am certain of is that I am still a child with the body of an adult. However, o prefer to stay a child over transforming into some wicked adult
Care to tell you. On Friday, my mind was in peace. I did pray as good as I could. On our way to home, driving along the fence of out farm, I saw my father looking towards the farm. I thought of playing a little prank on him and my little brother, Yusuf. I stopped the car abruptly. My father looked bewildered and my brothers also did. He asked. Why did you stop? I replied with a smile dancing on my lips which I tried to surpass; I saw you looking to the farm and thought that you wanted to get Yusuf to do a task, that was why I stopped. You know when you feel uneasy for some reason or another or immersing yourself into certain thought, you will feel light and easy if you talk to others. My idea! My father then smiled and thought of something to say. My little brother said that I am drunk. He does not know that I am drunk because of thee. My father said then I act like a child. I think he was pleased that I am still a child. Parents would love to have you around them and assist them to overcome what left for them in life. However, they would like us to stay under their sights. I think they do not like the idea that we are growing to abandon them or to pay attention more to others than they. They sacrificed their age to raise us to be good people. I now understand. There were times when I was stupidly blind and dumb
I pray for Allah to bestow forgiveness upon me, my parents, brothers and sisters of buraimi.net and all muslims